(Note- sing the title to the tune of 'Punk rocker' by Sandi Thom. If you do not know this song, I've added punctuation to help you. you're welcome.)
I'm sitting here looking through my books and trying not to calculate the 'what I don't know' to the 'what I do know' ratio for my final proper scary exam tomorrow. The results would just be depressing. Oh well, I can always copy eh? I'm sure the exam moderators won't care. Ha. Ha. Sob.
I can't wait until my ten year old brother has his GCSEs. He has no common decency at all. My bedroom is unfortunately above the 'music room.' (That's what he likes to call it, but in reality it's the spare room with a drum kit, a guitar and keyboard in it. Oh and a triangle. Mustn't forget the triangle!!) So, as I write this, wafting into my ear come the wonderful sounds of him trying to play a slightly more timeless version of the wedding march using all the different instruments set on a keyboard. At high volume. At the moment it's the honkytonk's turn I believe.
Kill me now.
Oh gawd, now he is wailing. Sorry- I mean singing.
Teenage girl up for adoption. Blue eyes, cute smile, will clean and cook for food. Looking for loving parents. Ideally rich. Fame preferable but optional. Must NOT have any children currently. Apply here if interested. Thank you.
Wednesday 16 June 2010
Tuesday 8 June 2010
Holy smokes, she must like boobies right?
Ha I love the Midnight Beast.
Aaanyway.. I'm avoiding doing history revision for by exam tomorrow, so I'm doing every activity I can think of to put it off. So far, I've walked up to my local shops, written out little messages with the sample pens at the bookshop, (where I found.. Wait for it.. SMELLY PENS!! Where the hell did those cool little things go? So another 10 minutes were wasted inhaling the smells of junior school. Cherry, strawberry, grape, bubblegum, cola, vanilla, chocolate: the list goes on. Ahh bliss), bought myself a congratulatory doughnut for staying awake while doing my business studies and maths exams today, and skipped home, convincing myself that I was burning the thousands of fairies ( haha I typed too fast for my iPod to keep up!! I did not burn fairies, what I meant to say was calories!!) I'd just consumed. Then I came home, made myself some Super Noodles, (which by the way are the BEST invention along with the mircowave, straighteners and cookie dough ice cream,) and had a little sing song along with my bizarre taste of music. Today was a combination of the Beach Boys, the Moldy Peaches, Chameleon Circuit, Sting, Green day and songs from the Lion King. ( I have the 4 disk Disney soundtrack collection. Innit mayte. Don't judge)
So as I'm home alone, I'm just going to do one more fridge raid ( I feel like such a rebel as I don't ask, I just take. :O I get left home a lot. Little things make my day.) and then I'm going to go see my gran, and raid her cupboards. Plus she has a sweetie drawer crammed full of crap: crisps, sweets, biscuits etc. Instant exam stress reliever. Yesssss :D
Aaanyway.. I'm avoiding doing history revision for by exam tomorrow, so I'm doing every activity I can think of to put it off. So far, I've walked up to my local shops, written out little messages with the sample pens at the bookshop, (where I found.. Wait for it.. SMELLY PENS!! Where the hell did those cool little things go? So another 10 minutes were wasted inhaling the smells of junior school. Cherry, strawberry, grape, bubblegum, cola, vanilla, chocolate: the list goes on. Ahh bliss), bought myself a congratulatory doughnut for staying awake while doing my business studies and maths exams today, and skipped home, convincing myself that I was burning the thousands of fairies ( haha I typed too fast for my iPod to keep up!! I did not burn fairies, what I meant to say was calories!!) I'd just consumed. Then I came home, made myself some Super Noodles, (which by the way are the BEST invention along with the mircowave, straighteners and cookie dough ice cream,) and had a little sing song along with my bizarre taste of music. Today was a combination of the Beach Boys, the Moldy Peaches, Chameleon Circuit, Sting, Green day and songs from the Lion King. ( I have the 4 disk Disney soundtrack collection. Innit mayte. Don't judge)
So as I'm home alone, I'm just going to do one more fridge raid ( I feel like such a rebel as I don't ask, I just take. :O I get left home a lot. Little things make my day.) and then I'm going to go see my gran, and raid her cupboards. Plus she has a sweetie drawer crammed full of crap: crisps, sweets, biscuits etc. Instant exam stress reliever. Yesssss :D
Monday 7 June 2010
Pigeon Sex
Right, I have approximately 11 minutes to write this blog because I soo want to go to bed in 11 minutes time. Long story, no time to explain really.
Anyway, sorry to my one follower and anyone else who stumbles upon my ramblings that I haven't blogged in a while. It's not a very good excuse but basically I wrote out a big long blog about my adventures Windsor last weekend, when sadly my iPod died and my lovely little witty words were lost forever in cyber space.
Ok, I would just like to take the remaining 8 minutes, now 7, to vent some of my late night/ early morning anger and frustration. I seem to have some sort of pigeon brothel outside my bedroom window. Let me explain: as everyone knows, summer is essentially here and with summer inevitably comes sticky nights in bed where you just can't seen to get cool. Everyone knows that feeling. Well unless you live in the north pole or whatever but just use your imagination. So as a response to this, or the last week or so I've left my window open at night, thinking that this would solve all my problems and I would get some decent sleep, especially as I have exams this week and next. BUT, oh no, it seems I am truly cursed. For for the last few mornings I have had to listen to the sound of the lovely pigeons that live in the bush outside my window making very loud, very passionate bird love at VERY unconventional hours. Try 4.30 in the bloody morning EVERY bloody morning. However, as much as I would like to continue my rant, my timer is beeping at me and is telling me that alas I must retire to my bed to drift off to the beautiful sound of live pigeon porn that is occuring right outside my window. Wonderful wonderful wonderful.
Byeeeeeee!
Anyway, sorry to my one follower and anyone else who stumbles upon my ramblings that I haven't blogged in a while. It's not a very good excuse but basically I wrote out a big long blog about my adventures Windsor last weekend, when sadly my iPod died and my lovely little witty words were lost forever in cyber space.
Ok, I would just like to take the remaining 8 minutes, now 7, to vent some of my late night/ early morning anger and frustration. I seem to have some sort of pigeon brothel outside my bedroom window. Let me explain: as everyone knows, summer is essentially here and with summer inevitably comes sticky nights in bed where you just can't seen to get cool. Everyone knows that feeling. Well unless you live in the north pole or whatever but just use your imagination. So as a response to this, or the last week or so I've left my window open at night, thinking that this would solve all my problems and I would get some decent sleep, especially as I have exams this week and next. BUT, oh no, it seems I am truly cursed. For for the last few mornings I have had to listen to the sound of the lovely pigeons that live in the bush outside my window making very loud, very passionate bird love at VERY unconventional hours. Try 4.30 in the bloody morning EVERY bloody morning. However, as much as I would like to continue my rant, my timer is beeping at me and is telling me that alas I must retire to my bed to drift off to the beautiful sound of live pigeon porn that is occuring right outside my window. Wonderful wonderful wonderful.
Byeeeeeee!
Thursday 27 May 2010
Got up, did a wee. Y'know... Exciting lives we lead.
Right well I know at least 3 people have read this, so hello to the whole ox family. You know who you are!! ;)
I've been thinking, and I reckon I am a seriously angry person in denial. I skip around all day, looking as happy as a little lamb that has had happy pills shoved up its bottom, BUT inside is the equivalent of a grumpy old retired librarian woman, who spends her days talking to her cat and muttering about the youth of today. Now, this half of me rarely makes an appearance, as usually either the idea or the drama that will follow her outbursts is too much for her to deal with before her nap, (especially as she has just had a pacemaker fitted), or her dodgey hip means that she just can't keep up with the afore mentioned lamb. (I have issues, I really do.)
However, although her appearances are very rare, today she decided to keep posessing me frequently throughout the day: for example, when my locker decided to attack me and started spewing my books all over the floor and my head. And when someone, who seems to be incapable of going to the toilet by themselves asked me, WHEN I WAS CLEARLY REVISING BIOLOGY, if I 'wanted' to go to the toilet with them, like it was some sort of priviledge or something. Or when my school bag broke, and my literally my entire life fell onto the locker room floor to be trampled on my the inconsiderate people I share the locker room with. But I won't dwell on this. The skippy lamb in me is stopping her from taking the limelight again. But yes, today was a bad day.
On a brighter note, I am heading on up to my birth place, Windsor, this weekend to see friends and family I haven't seen for years! And also try and chat up one of the soliders on guard to the castle, see if I can make him smile. I'd better prepare some jokes. And if all else fails, I'm going to flash him.
Adiós! x
I've been thinking, and I reckon I am a seriously angry person in denial. I skip around all day, looking as happy as a little lamb that has had happy pills shoved up its bottom, BUT inside is the equivalent of a grumpy old retired librarian woman, who spends her days talking to her cat and muttering about the youth of today. Now, this half of me rarely makes an appearance, as usually either the idea or the drama that will follow her outbursts is too much for her to deal with before her nap, (especially as she has just had a pacemaker fitted), or her dodgey hip means that she just can't keep up with the afore mentioned lamb. (I have issues, I really do.)
However, although her appearances are very rare, today she decided to keep posessing me frequently throughout the day: for example, when my locker decided to attack me and started spewing my books all over the floor and my head. And when someone, who seems to be incapable of going to the toilet by themselves asked me, WHEN I WAS CLEARLY REVISING BIOLOGY, if I 'wanted' to go to the toilet with them, like it was some sort of priviledge or something. Or when my school bag broke, and my literally my entire life fell onto the locker room floor to be trampled on my the inconsiderate people I share the locker room with. But I won't dwell on this. The skippy lamb in me is stopping her from taking the limelight again. But yes, today was a bad day.
On a brighter note, I am heading on up to my birth place, Windsor, this weekend to see friends and family I haven't seen for years! And also try and chat up one of the soliders on guard to the castle, see if I can make him smile. I'd better prepare some jokes. And if all else fails, I'm going to flash him.
Adiós! x
Wednesday 26 May 2010
Come in, sit down, I have lemon cake.
It is weird to think that an average teenager from a sleepy coastal town in the south of England could have, potentially, the attention of hundreds of strangers. (In reality I'd be happy with just one person's attention but is MY blog so I can exaggerate if I want to!)
So, to begin with, let me introduce myself with a few fun facts about me:
1) I have no embarrassment, which is much to the embarrassment of my friends and family!
2) I can belly-dance with my tongue.
3) By my 13th birthday I'd travelled around the world with my pilot dad, navigating many a foreign airport all
by myself, despite only being able to speak English at the time.
4) Pero, ahora hablo un poco español. Me gusta hablar español, sin embargo necesito aprendo más, porque creo que soy no muy buena. ( I hope that makes sense!!)
5) I can kite-board.
6) I haven't had a tv licence since I was 3. That's a lot of tv to catch up on!!
7) I can (kind of) play drums. And I'm a girl. Oh my god.. I know.
Right, that's all the cliched stuff out the way right? I'm not going to trawl through all my likes and dislikes, favourite films, music, colour, food, foot, bra and little finger sizes and all of that crap, because to be honest, i'm an unknown who you really don't care about. In fact, if you've read this far, congratulations, give me your address and I will send you a sticker or something in gratitude!
Anyway I digress. Now, I'll be honest, I'm not really sure what the blog etiquette is. The only past experience of anything vaguely related to blogging is keeping a diary, and that was the biggest load of crap I've ever written. Basically, the theme of that was " I'm in love, but he doesn't like me, I hate my life, I'm so depressed, no one understands me.. Etc." Seriously this goes on for about 200 pages over a 10 month period. It's completely cringeworthy stuff. In fact, maybe I should publish it- it's so bad it's funny. If you are lucky I may insert little extracts on here.
Now, when I decided I was going to start a blog, I was with one of my gorgeously wonderful best friends who I shall call.. BeastlyBumCheeks. She is one of the few people in this world who gave truly experienced the raw unguarded me ( which was due to severe exhaustion.) Unfortunately, this version of me should be locked away in a mental home or something. We recently went on a history trip to France and Belgium during which I got about a third of the sleep an ordinary person does. It was a very surreal experience, trust me. Apparently, I did some VERY bizarre things I don't even remember!! But here are some of the highlights I do remember, especially for you BeastlyBC. ;)
• We got chatted up up by some random belgiumish delivery man. His choice of flattering words? 'hey hey madonna.' (followed by a series of winks and strange clicking noises. Honestly, why do men do that? I am NOT a bloody cat.) Bumcheeks and I still haven't figured out whether this was in fact a compliment or not, considering he called the name of an aging muscly singer who should really just retire already.
• I had a panic attack in a creepy museum when the floor beneath my feet lit up to reveal some half buried bodies. Yes, I know they were fake, but it was a shock ok?
• As a dare, I attempted to chat up this random boy in one of the many memorial sites. However, this failed as I could not catch up with him and ended up talking to my hilarious art teacher about toilets. Very odd.
• Bumcheeks caught me on video singing to myself while strolling through the trenches. The lyrics basically went "Im walking through a trench, I'm walking in a trench." This was just before a man started playing bagpipes on top of a hill near where we were for no apparent reason. However, the funniest thing about this bizarre experience was that he could not get them to work after the first song. It was definitely the worst sounds I've ever heard.
• It was sooo flipping cold at night that Bumcheeks got into to bed with me. It was rather nice, if not surprising to find her in my bed that morning!!
• We had fun in France in this large shopping centre type place as soon as we arrived. We spent ages looking for a drink, and managed to find a Tescos. This was a massive relief and comfort for us, we knew what to expect. Or thought we did. Having recieved funny looks while entering, we realised that we HAD found drinks, shelves and shelves of them, but none of which we were legally allowed to buy. Turns out this particular Tescos was an 'alcoholic superstore', which was written in a large sign we'd apparently missed in our desperation for familiarity! And THEN we couldn't find the toilets so I ran around yelling 'oo eyy laa toilett?' much to the embarrassment of Bumcheeks. We eventually found it and discovered we'd walked past it about 10 times!!
• We also shared a room with a girl who sings in her sleep. In Chinese. Yeah, I know.
• However, reading the advice columns in the crappy magazines we'd bought on the way to France was a very funny experience. Bumcheeks and another friend I shall call Elastigirl, gathered on my bed and we spent the next hour laughing hysterically at the problems, especially the sex ones. Hilarious!!
Anyway, I must be off, my little brother is yelling that I get him a towel. He has shampoo on his eyes apparently. Lazy bum.
X
So, to begin with, let me introduce myself with a few fun facts about me:
1) I have no embarrassment, which is much to the embarrassment of my friends and family!
2) I can belly-dance with my tongue.
3) By my 13th birthday I'd travelled around the world with my pilot dad, navigating many a foreign airport all
by myself, despite only being able to speak English at the time.
4) Pero, ahora hablo un poco español. Me gusta hablar español, sin embargo necesito aprendo más, porque creo que soy no muy buena. ( I hope that makes sense!!)
5) I can kite-board.
6) I haven't had a tv licence since I was 3. That's a lot of tv to catch up on!!
7) I can (kind of) play drums. And I'm a girl. Oh my god.. I know.
Right, that's all the cliched stuff out the way right? I'm not going to trawl through all my likes and dislikes, favourite films, music, colour, food, foot, bra and little finger sizes and all of that crap, because to be honest, i'm an unknown who you really don't care about. In fact, if you've read this far, congratulations, give me your address and I will send you a sticker or something in gratitude!
Anyway I digress. Now, I'll be honest, I'm not really sure what the blog etiquette is. The only past experience of anything vaguely related to blogging is keeping a diary, and that was the biggest load of crap I've ever written. Basically, the theme of that was " I'm in love, but he doesn't like me, I hate my life, I'm so depressed, no one understands me.. Etc." Seriously this goes on for about 200 pages over a 10 month period. It's completely cringeworthy stuff. In fact, maybe I should publish it- it's so bad it's funny. If you are lucky I may insert little extracts on here.
Now, when I decided I was going to start a blog, I was with one of my gorgeously wonderful best friends who I shall call.. BeastlyBumCheeks. She is one of the few people in this world who gave truly experienced the raw unguarded me ( which was due to severe exhaustion.) Unfortunately, this version of me should be locked away in a mental home or something. We recently went on a history trip to France and Belgium during which I got about a third of the sleep an ordinary person does. It was a very surreal experience, trust me. Apparently, I did some VERY bizarre things I don't even remember!! But here are some of the highlights I do remember, especially for you BeastlyBC. ;)
• We got chatted up up by some random belgiumish delivery man. His choice of flattering words? 'hey hey madonna.' (followed by a series of winks and strange clicking noises. Honestly, why do men do that? I am NOT a bloody cat.) Bumcheeks and I still haven't figured out whether this was in fact a compliment or not, considering he called the name of an aging muscly singer who should really just retire already.
• I had a panic attack in a creepy museum when the floor beneath my feet lit up to reveal some half buried bodies. Yes, I know they were fake, but it was a shock ok?
• As a dare, I attempted to chat up this random boy in one of the many memorial sites. However, this failed as I could not catch up with him and ended up talking to my hilarious art teacher about toilets. Very odd.
• Bumcheeks caught me on video singing to myself while strolling through the trenches. The lyrics basically went "Im walking through a trench, I'm walking in a trench." This was just before a man started playing bagpipes on top of a hill near where we were for no apparent reason. However, the funniest thing about this bizarre experience was that he could not get them to work after the first song. It was definitely the worst sounds I've ever heard.
• It was sooo flipping cold at night that Bumcheeks got into to bed with me. It was rather nice, if not surprising to find her in my bed that morning!!
• We had fun in France in this large shopping centre type place as soon as we arrived. We spent ages looking for a drink, and managed to find a Tescos. This was a massive relief and comfort for us, we knew what to expect. Or thought we did. Having recieved funny looks while entering, we realised that we HAD found drinks, shelves and shelves of them, but none of which we were legally allowed to buy. Turns out this particular Tescos was an 'alcoholic superstore', which was written in a large sign we'd apparently missed in our desperation for familiarity! And THEN we couldn't find the toilets so I ran around yelling 'oo eyy laa toilett?' much to the embarrassment of Bumcheeks. We eventually found it and discovered we'd walked past it about 10 times!!
• We also shared a room with a girl who sings in her sleep. In Chinese. Yeah, I know.
• However, reading the advice columns in the crappy magazines we'd bought on the way to France was a very funny experience. Bumcheeks and another friend I shall call Elastigirl, gathered on my bed and we spent the next hour laughing hysterically at the problems, especially the sex ones. Hilarious!!
Anyway, I must be off, my little brother is yelling that I get him a towel. He has shampoo on his eyes apparently. Lazy bum.
X
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