Come in, sit down, I have lemon cake.

It is weird to think that an average teenager from a sleepy coastal town in the south of England could have, potentially, the attention of hundreds of strangers. (In reality I'd be happy with just one person's attention but is MY blog so I can exaggerate if I want to!)
So, to begin with, let me introduce myself with a few fun facts about me:
1) I have no embarrassment, which is much to the embarrassment of my friends and family!
2) I can belly-dance with my tongue.
3) By my 13th birthday I'd travelled around the world with my pilot dad, navigating many a foreign airport all
by myself, despite only being able to speak English at the time.
4) Pero, ahora hablo un poco español. Me gusta hablar español, sin embargo necesito aprendo más, porque creo que soy no muy buena. ( I hope that makes sense!!)
5) I can kite-board.
6) I haven't had a tv licence since I was 3. That's a lot of tv to catch up on!!
7) I can (kind of) play drums. And I'm a girl. Oh my god.. I know.

Right, that's all the cliched stuff out the way right? I'm not going to trawl through all my likes and dislikes, favourite films, music, colour, food, foot, bra and little finger sizes and all of that crap, because to be honest, i'm an unknown who you really don't care about. In fact, if you've read this far, congratulations, give me your address and I will send you a sticker or something in gratitude!
Anyway I digress. Now, I'll be honest, I'm not really sure what the blog etiquette is. The only past experience of anything vaguely related to blogging is keeping a diary, and that was the biggest load of crap I've ever written. Basically, the theme of that was " I'm in love, but he doesn't like me, I hate my life, I'm so depressed, no one understands me.. Etc." Seriously this goes on for about 200 pages over a 10 month period. It's completely cringeworthy stuff. In fact, maybe I should publish it- it's so bad it's funny. If you are lucky I may insert little extracts on here.
Now, when I decided I was going to start a blog, I was with one of my gorgeously wonderful best friends who I shall call.. BeastlyBumCheeks. She is one of the few people in this world who gave truly experienced the raw unguarded me ( which was due to severe exhaustion.) Unfortunately, this version of me should be locked away in a mental home or something. We recently went on a history trip to France and Belgium during which I got about a third of the sleep an ordinary person does. It was a very surreal experience, trust me. Apparently, I did some VERY bizarre things I don't even remember!! But here are some of the highlights I do remember, especially for you BeastlyBC. ;)
• We got chatted up up by some random belgiumish delivery man. His choice of flattering words? 'hey hey madonna.' (followed by a series of winks and strange clicking noises. Honestly, why do men do that? I am NOT a bloody cat.) Bumcheeks and I still haven't figured out whether this was in fact a compliment or not, considering he called the name of an aging muscly singer who should really just retire already.
• I had a panic attack in a creepy museum when the floor beneath my feet lit up to reveal some half buried bodies. Yes, I know they were fake, but it was a shock ok?
• As a dare, I attempted to chat up this random boy in one of the many memorial sites. However, this failed as I could not catch up with him and ended up talking to my hilarious art teacher about toilets. Very odd.
• Bumcheeks caught me on video singing to myself while strolling through the trenches. The lyrics basically went "Im walking through a trench, I'm walking in a trench." This was just before a man started playing bagpipes on top of a hill near where we were for no apparent reason. However, the funniest thing about this bizarre experience was that he could not get them to work after the first song. It was definitely the worst sounds I've ever heard.
• It was sooo flipping cold at night that Bumcheeks got into to bed with me. It was rather nice, if not surprising to find her in my bed that morning!!
• We had fun in France in this large shopping centre type place as soon as we arrived. We spent ages looking for a drink, and managed to find a Tescos. This was a massive relief and comfort for us, we knew what to expect. Or thought we did. Having recieved funny looks while entering, we realised that we HAD found drinks, shelves and shelves of them, but none of which we were legally allowed to buy. Turns out this particular Tescos was an 'alcoholic superstore', which was written in a large sign we'd apparently missed in our desperation for familiarity! And THEN we couldn't find the toilets so I ran around yelling 'oo eyy laa toilett?' much to the embarrassment of Bumcheeks. We eventually found it and discovered we'd walked past it about 10 times!!
• We also shared a room with a girl who sings in her sleep. In Chinese. Yeah, I know.
• However, reading the advice columns in the crappy magazines we'd bought on the way to France was a very funny experience. Bumcheeks and another friend I shall call Elastigirl, gathered on my bed and we spent the next hour laughing hysterically at the problems, especially the sex ones. Hilarious!!
Anyway, I must be off, my little brother is yelling that I get him a towel. He has shampoo on his eyes apparently. Lazy bum.
X